Friday, 10 August 2012

Submission…it’s all in the mind



little n says…

Yesterday I was given some advice. It went something like this:

“You have to be in a submissive frame of mind at all times, even if he is Dominant only sometimes”

I have to say I think that was good advice and something I had been thinking about actually myself so I’m pleased it was brought up by someone else who’s more experienced. I think this is one of the major problems I have at the moment: when he’s not being Dominant I do not feel submissive and that really frustrates me. But I know I can’t nag at him (that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried!) That wouldn’t be very submissive or very helpful (as I learnt the hard way).  He has complained before that my expectations are too high, perhaps he’s right. Did I just say that?!

I’m hoping, and I think if I am successful in getting into this headspace 24/7, it will change my behaviour, which might in turn help him access ‘Domspace’ a little more often (I think I just made that word up…but I like it).

Anyway I don’t want this post to be seen as a nag in itself (which it is not intended to be) because I know he is busy with work and family at the moment and I think it would be ungrateful of me to criticize when I can see we are moving forward. I also think I am guilty of putting too much pressure on him whilst at the same time overlooking the part that I have to play in this.  I’m sure he needs me to be submissive in order for him to feel dominant just the same as I need it the other way round and I guess it’s unfair on the less experienced partner to expect them to be the one that instigates that dynamic all the time. So I’m hoping that by putting myself into this frame of mind that it will have an effect on him and maybe bring out his inner Dom! Coz he’s actually quite good at it…(shhh). <3

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