My final thoughts on fifty shades

“Clear, bright- blue, embarrassed eyes meet mine and halt me in my tracks. They are the most extraordinary colour-guileless, powder-blue- and for one awful moment, I think she can see right through me. I feel….exposed. The thought is unnerving. She has a small, sweet face that is blushing now, an innocent pale rose. I wonder briefly if all her skin is like that-flawless-and what it would look like pink and warmed from the bite of a cane. Fuck. ”(E.L.James.(2011) Fifty Shades Freed. Arrow Books; London. Page 558)

little n says…

I have just finished the last fifty shades book. My last review was written after I finished the first book. The second book was an improvement in my opinion. Mr Grey and Ana move

forward with their relationship get engaged and married between the second and third books and finaly by the end of the third book the reader finds out that they have two children together. Ana starts a new job at a ‘small’ publishing house in the second book, and is sexually harassed by her boss Jack Hyde (who turns out to have a very big personal grudge against Mr Grey and his family) which is the focus of the third book. In the second book Ana also learns a bit more about Christian’s previous submissives (particularly liela who has a breakdown and waves a gun around) and his old mistress Elena. Throughout the book Ana seeks relentlessly to learn more about Christians past which is slowly revealed to her as their relationship deepens. The dialogue does improve somewhat, however it is still a bit repetitive and the sex scenes are still a bit vanilla but they do improve and contain a bit more kink as the trilogy progresses but I suppose that is to be expected considering it is such a mainstream novel not a bdsm book.

Good points:

·         The email messages between Ana and Christian are entertaining and add to the erotic tension between the two characters.

·         I like Christian Grey’s character he is a gentledom type with a naughty sadistic streak. He seems to really care about the welfare of his submissives in a way that is not always put across by some Doms in the scene. Some people criticise him for being too stalkerish and controlling, but I quite like it. But that’s my personal preference.

·         I enjoyed the last chapter of the third book which was written from his perspective. In my opinion it read better than the rest of the books. I could identify more with Christians thinking, although that does not mean that I did not identify with Ana at all I can be shy like her, but I am no were near as easily shocked as her!

·         The third book was also full of drama which made it more of a page turner.  

·         I also like the descriptions of Christian as a small scared red haired child at the end of the third book, its kind of heart warming, and his boyishness and insecurities remind me of my Daddy who can also be a little insecure at times. <3

Bad points:

·         I think these have been covered by me and others previously and I don’t want to go over them again and repeat myself.

Conclusion

According to EL James the premise of her books was ‘What would happen if you were attracted to somebody who was into the BDSM lifestyle, when you weren’t?’. I think this is the reason why so many of us who read the books who are into the BDSM lifestyle do not like the books. However I can understand how someone unfamiliar with BDSM could have their eyes opened by these books and be enthralled by them. I feel that if these novels had been written from the perspective of someone in the scene i.e. Mr Grey, they would have been much more palatable for BDSMers, however it would not have enjoyed so much success in the vanilla world, and perhaps there would be no film being made or as much interest in the lifestyle (which I have mixed feelings about).

Romantic Ravishment

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A Gentle Dom's view: What is submission (reblog)

First of all, we are all individuals and therefore, submission is something different for each of us - men and women, subs and Doms, young or old, new to the lifestyle or with a fair share of experiences. So I can and will not claim to give the only possible definition or even explanation but I want to sum up some of the basics that are underlying the concept of submission as I experienced it throughout my years in the lifestyle.

Submission is an intense form of a relationship. The submissive part gives up some of her (or his but I’ll stick to the female form here) control to the dominant part. To which extend she gives it up depends on the two involved and is not anybody else’s business. There is no right or wrong in general, just a right or wrong for those who enjoy this exciting journey together - so don’t worry if anyone tells you you were doing it wrong when it feels just right for yourself.

There are however some basics that I consider essential to all D/s relationships. First and foremost, since it is a very intense type of a relationship, it needs a lot of trust. Trust again needs time. So take your time. Take a lot of it. Don’t let anyone rush you into anything. If someone approaches you and you try to get to know him, do so thoroughly before you start playing. If he tries to rush you and doesn’t respect your need to build some trust first, he’s likely to ignore others of your limits as well.

Which leads me to limits. Everybody of us has limits and if someone says they do not have any or even worse, if a dominant part requires the sub to submit without limits, they either do not know what they are talking about or they know it very well and want to take advantage of someone inexperienced. (Yes, I know there are also people willing to submit without limits knowing what it means but to me, that is the far, far dark corner of bdsm and I’m not covering any of this here.)
As a general rule, everything that happens should be based on consensuality - meaning anything either of the two involved is not comfortable with will just not happen. A good, caring Dom takes his time to explore the limits of his sub and will also find out how to push them a bit - gently but he will - since he knows he helps her growing to a better self by doing that. But he will always respect her limits in general and he will not be too demanding since he knows how much she can take and where to stop. An important part here is also aftercare. Especially after pushing her limts but also after every “normal” session, the Dom takes his time to soothe her back down again and to make her feel comfortable.

What is submission not?
Submission does not mean the dominant part is superior to the submissive part. The submissive part chooses freely to give up control to the dominant part because she wants to, because she feels the dominant part will guide her to wonderful places that she could not reach otherwise. Whether or not humiliation is part of what turns the sub on depends on her but it is not done because she was lower in any way, just as part of the dynamics during play time.

Submission also does not mean the sub would give up all her rights. She remains a woman who has her own desires and needs and she will find a way to show them to her Dom without topping from the bottom. She has especially the right to say No at any given time and if her Dom does not respect her No, he is not a true Dom but rather an abusive jerk hiding behind a respected title to pursue his abusive needs. Should that be the case, turn around and run, run fast.
Submission can also not be enforced by the Dom, it can only be gifted freely by the sub. It is a wonderful gift to receive and a caring Dom will always treasure it as such.

As in any other type of relationship, use your common sense. Take your time and listen to your guts. Usually, they tell you pretty well if and how to go on, to get more intense or to take a break or even to end things.
This can be a very rewarding journey when two people meet who have similar ideas and who respect each other. Don’t let it be spoiled by someone taking advantage of your inexperience.

This got a bit lengthy and so I want to conclude with a short definition a former sub of mine created:
“It’s where you make a comittment to someone. He will take care of you and you will give yourself over to him to take care of you.”

Taken from: A Gentle Dom's View

1000 page views!

little n says...

Thanks to everyone whos checked out my blog. I can't beleive ive had 1000 page views already. I just wish you guys would comment more or join my site!... I won't bite.




 

Emergence Into Submission: A Sense of Entitlement

Emergence Into Submission: A Sense of Entitlement: While discussing the concept of Dominance in a D/s relationship with B, it struck me that the whole feel of Dominance can be encapsulated...

"I don't feel submissive because B spanks me but when He spanks me I feel His sense of entitlement over me and, knowing that I have entrusted Him with my life, makes me feel genuinely, blissfully, powerlessly, submissive."

little n says...

The above article is worth a read. This is what I need to feel. I need to know that my dominant's heart is in it, that he feels that he is entitled, that he owns me and really beleives it. Then I will feel truly submissive. Just like I need him to show that he cares for me and wants to protect me in order for me to feel truly little. 

Submission…it’s all in the mind

little n says…

Yesterday I was given some advice. It went something like this:

“You have to be in a submissive frame of mind at all times, even if he is Dominant only sometimes”

I have to say I think that was good advice and something I had been thinking about actually myself so I’m pleased it was brought up by someone else who’s more experienced. I think this is one of the major problems I have at the moment: when he’s not being Dominant I do not feel submissive and that really frustrates me. But I know I can’t nag at him (that doesn’t mean I haven’t tried!) That wouldn’t be very submissive or very helpful (as I learnt the hard way).  He has complained before that my expectations are too high, perhaps he’s right. Did I just say that?!

I’m hoping, and I think if I am successful in getting into this headspace 24/7, it will change my behaviour, which might in turn help him access ‘Domspace’ a little more often (I think I just made that word up…but I like it).

Anyway I don’t want this post to be seen as a nag in itself (which it is not intended to be) because I know he is busy with work and family at the moment and I think it would be ungrateful of me to criticize when I can see we are moving forward. I also think I am guilty of putting too much pressure on him whilst at the same time overlooking the part that I have to play in this.  I’m sure he needs me to be submissive in order for him to feel dominant just the same as I need it the other way round and I guess it’s unfair on the less experienced partner to expect them to be the one that instigates that dynamic all the time. So I’m hoping that by putting myself into this frame of mind that it will have an effect on him and maybe bring out his inner Dom! Coz he’s actually quite good at it…(shhh). <3

Story

(This is a fictional story that I wrote)

My phone flashes up and buzzes, its message from you.

_________________________

To: little n

From: Daddy s

Home in 10. See you soon

x

_____________________________

My heart skips a beat, I get up of the couch were I fell asleep and start moving around frantically, my mind muddled and hazy. I make my into the bedroom and peel off my jeans and tshirt and make a dash for the shower. I’m out in 3 drying myself as I make my way back into the room nearly stumbling over the towel as I enter. I find my black ruffled panties and pull them on and slip into my very short school girl skirt white vest top, no bra and knee length socks and I go in search of my black Mary-Jane heels. The front door opens just as I slip the second one on my right foot. I quickly check myself in the mirror to see if my hair has lost its curl and give it a quick ruffle before bounding down the stairs to meet you.

You stop and stare at me. I pretend not to notice as I wrap my arms around you neck and plant a kiss on your check.

“Hello Daddy!”

I don’t wait for your response. I drop down to my knees and begin to untie your laces and take off your shoes. When I’m done I stay there kneeling in front of you, hands behind my back looking up at you with the sweetest little girl look I could manage. You look down at me for a second longer bemused.

“When I’ve finished speaking I want you to stand up, go upstairs and lie across the edge of the bed with your feet on the floor and your arse in the air.”

I blush, and look to the floor, my heart pounding in my ears.

“yes Daddy.”

I stand up and make my way back upstairs into the bedroom and lie across the purple satin sheets and wait. I hear you put your things away, go into the kitchen and pour yourself a drink and slowly make your way up the bedroom where I’m waiting patiently. The wait is agonising, I’m wet already with anticipation. I hear the floor creak as you enter the room. You cross the floor behind me take a drink and put it down.  

Smack!

An involuntary moan escapes my lips.

“Feet apart”

I shuffle my feet apart about 10cm hiding my smile.

Smack

“Further!”

I gasp and then comply moving them far enough apart for you to cuff my ankles and secure them to the spreader bar I hear you get from under the bed. The bar keeps them just far enough apart to make me feel restrained enough not to be too uncomfortable, but enough to remind me that I am here to serve.

“Good girl. Now give me your arms.”

I take my arms from under me and transfer my weight from them onto my shoulders and head which are now pushed against the bed, on the oh-so-soft-satin-sheets. You cuff them together behind my back then grab me by the hair and pull my head up to meet yours and you kiss me hungrily. I let out another moan, and you let go of my hair dropping my head back onto the bed.

“Your my little slutty girl Mine. Don’t you dare cum. Wait there.”

I hear you ruffling behind me getting something else out from under the bed. Then I hear you remove your jacket and your tie which you use to blindfold me. You roll up the sleeves of your shirt and unbuckle your belt and grasp it in one hand holding it just above my behind. With your other hand you rub against my panties and feel the wetness that has gathered there and I hear you take in a sharp intake of breath. Then I feel the slash of the whip against my skin.

“Ah”

You build up to a steady rhythm, increasing the strength of the blows with each swing. With the other hand you play with me slowly, teasing me. I want to cum.

“Don’t you fucking dare? You wait until I let you. correction. If I let you.”

“Please Daddy, please let me cum”

You drop the belt on the floor. And pick up a condom.

“Mmmm”

“Do you want your Daddy inside you?”

I wiggle my bottom and giggle.

“Yes please!”

You slip it on and pull my panties to one side pushing the head of your penis against me. I moan in response and push against it. You pause and move away again.

“Stand up”

I’m confused, and disappointed, but I make a move. Its hard to get up. You sigh and grab a hold of my arm, dragging me upwards. I’m impressed with your strength. You unbuckle my hands and push them in front of me.

“kneel on the edge of the bed”

You take my arms from underneath me and buckle them onto the spreaderbar were my ankles are still secured so that my bottom is sticking up in the air even further. Then once again pull my panties to one side and push yourself inside me. There is little resistance and I hear you sigh as you get all the way in.

“Good little slut.”

You withdraw slowly and then push back in whilst reaching for my clit. You rub it slowly, matching the pace of your cock inside me. My hips push back to meet yours, Im desperate now. My breathing heavy, my palms sweaty and gripping onto the metal bar.

“Does my little one like that?”

Dam it, he’s really enjoying this I think. For a moment I resent the state that I’m in and how it contrasts to your calm exterior, but the feelings of pleasure take over. You grabs my hips and thrust into me, restoring me to reality.

“Yes. Please can I come now Daddy?”

“You’re an impatient little thing aren’t you. No, I like to hear you beg”

I’m so wet I can hear it when you thrusts into me, and I can feel it spread against my thighs. You continue to thrust harder into me and rub my clit at the same time. The sensations are intense, I want to pull away I can’t take it. I cry out.

“What’s wrong little one? Too rough?”

You thrust harder and deeper taking the breath out of me.

“You’re such a little slut. I bet you’ve been touching yourself all day while I’ve been out, making yourself all wet.”

Trears spring to my eyes, I need to cum. You sense the need in me; my moans turn into cries and then screams. I push my face into the bed trying to stifle them but you want to push me to my limits and you continue your thrusts whilst scratching your nails down my back before rubbing my clit once more.

“Come for me little one.”

*yey Daddy's home....