This video was posted on a thread on fetlife.
I thought i'd share it....
Monday, 30 July 2012
How amazing are these?
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/190702785853?_trksid=p5197.c0.m619
little n says...
I found these british made wax play candles (with low melting points) on ebay by melting.point and im hoping I will recieve one as a gift =)
I still have not experimented with wax play yet, but hopfully I will soonish...I think I may be getting one for chanukah..which is kind of related. It is the festival of lights afterall!
little n says...
I found these british made wax play candles (with low melting points) on ebay by melting.point and im hoping I will recieve one as a gift =)
I still have not experimented with wax play yet, but hopfully I will soonish...I think I may be getting one for chanukah..which is kind of related. It is the festival of lights afterall!
Comments on C4s 'Sex Story: Fifty Shades of Grey' Documentory
little n says...
Last night I watched the documentary on C4 about the 50
shades of Grey books (this post is not about the books, it’s about the documentary
about the books). To its credit the program did try to be balanced by including
a D/s couple to offset some of the other more negative comments being made by
some of the other guests, but I couldn’t help but get annoyed at one particular
female guest who was not only ignorant (like many of the other women
commenting), but openly (and cluelessly) hostile towards bdsm in general.
I hate seeing women like that on TV, they give feminism and
fetishists a bad name. I am both, and I couldn’t disagree with her more. Me and
my Dom are intelligent people; I just graduated with a degree in sociology in
which I gained a great deal of understanding of feminism, and my Dom (also a
sociology student) has studied these same issues and has taken an interest in
feminism, and we would both consider ourselves to be (in our own way) feminists.
The woman speaking who looked to be in her 50s, was clearly
a bit of a man hater (how come it’s ok to hate men when you’re a feminist?) and
obviously did not have a kinky bone in her body! Indeed she seemed to have the innocence
of a virgin, sex was clearly a dirty word to her ears. Perhaps she is one of
those feminists who believes all sex is patriarchal and something women would
free themselves of. Women clearly cannot enjoy such treatment afterall if it
debases them (oh the capacity of the human mind…;) ). Needless to say she had a
very judgemental and moral high ground stance on the whole issue. Basically she
was saying two things 1. How can anyone want to do these ‘abhorrent’ things?
(she made a clear ‘moral’ judgment) 2. This is oppression and goes against what
feminists have been trying to achieve.
First of all whether or not someone finds bdsm practices abhorrent,
they can still be turned on by them. In fact some people may like a certain
practice because they think it is so,
but obviously not everyone will think this way. Not only did she show herself
up to be very vanilla lol and very ignorant. But she went on TV making
misinformed comments about a lifestyle choice which she clearly knows nothing about. Her disgust at the
practices in the book also surprised me because many bdsmers like myself
believe the books to be quite vanilla in the way they depict bdsm scenes like I
have said before, Mr Greys hard limit list contains a lot of things that a lot of
people in the scene enjoy (as the documentary later pointed out).
Anyway, her second belief I feel is quite damaging to us
as a community, and unfortunately it is often held by more radical feminists
who seem to overlook the golden rules of bdsm (sane, safe on consensual) and
make harsh judgments based on..what exactly? These women are shocked by it,
they have no real life experience of it, have they ever spoken to someone who
does even? (Unlikly-who would come out to them!) I think her hostility actually
borderlined on discrimination, and I would certainly consider her comments to
be of a fundamentalist nature especially considering that most couples these
days play around with some bdsm equipment even if they do not identify with the
bdsm community.. However she was certainly not the only one to criticize bdsm,
another woman joked ‘who wants to be analy fisted on a Friday night?!’ (Which isn’t
even in the books so I don’t know where that came from) but I accept that anal
fisting is not for everyone (it’s not my thing either) but her comment wasn’t really
about anal fisting, it was another moral judgment i.e. how can someone want
that to be done to them, it’s horrible, it’s a joke even.
Thankfully however, the D/s couple did help even out the
balance a bit more, although they may have outed a few of us along the way
because the sub was wearing her eternity-collars-style steel collar on TV! My
mother and future mother in law have both been reading 50 shades of Grey and therefore
may have very well decided to watch that program. My mother I know to be a bit
of a kinkster herself (although I don’t know the details) and she has a good
sense of humour and understanding nature and is no prude -so I don’t mind about
her, but other family members are not so understanding. I wear an eternity
collars wrist cuff (I used to wear one on each wrist) which they are both aware
of but do not know the meaning of. If they were watching that documentary I’m
sure they could have worked it out and no doubt there are many other subs who
also wear these ‘not so discreet anymore collars/cuffs/anklets’ around their family/friends/colleagues
who may come under closer inspection in the future if someone makes the
connection.
Other people had a good joke at the contract. The contract
was in my opinion the only authentic thing about the 50 shades trilogy and was
no doubt copied from the blog/site of some other sub. That also annoyed me because
many people (including myself) have these contracts and take them very
seriously. They can be very important to some D/s couples who want to be able
to outline the specifics of their relationship to ensure each partner knows their
responsibilities and their roles and what the other expects from them. They
also facilitate safe and consensual play which is of course very important, particularly
if either partner is interested in ‘edge play’ or is inexperienced.
I was not surprised that this documentary had been made, I
have been waiting for something such as this to be shown, but it would be nice
for there to be a proper film made about bdsm which did not contain negative stereotypes
or hatred but the lives of real people who enjoy this lifestyle. Not that im
calling for some big awareness campaign…I’m happy keeping my sex life a secret!
I do not want bdsm to become trivialised and turned into some fad and become divorced
of all meaning by the masses. But I would like to combat hate and ignorance.
Tuesday, 24 July 2012
Another 50 things about me
little
n says…
51. When I was little I used to imagine that I lived in Victorian
times, now I just have a bit of a fascination for Victorian clothing, period
dramas and novels which are set in that era and a desire to be spanked like a
naughty Victorian lady! Oh and be put in a tin bath and washed by my fiancé/dom
I don’t know why I just think it would be fun and romantic.
52. My engagement ring is made of wood and only cost £70.
53. I really like eating sushi.
54. I try not to swear too much.
55. I really enjoyed watching 9 ½ weeks
56. I’m reading the last of the 50 shades trilogy.
57. I used to be in love with Lestat out of the vampire
chronicles.
58. I have enjoyed all of Sarah Waters books, and have
some of the tv drama adaptations on dvd.
59. I am a big fan of the Russian band tatu even though nobody
else knows who they are anymore.
60. I used to have two gold fish one called steven, the
other called Jeremy beadle (I was a big fan of you’ve been framed!) and a
gerbil also called steven! (steven was a family friend)
70. I was bullied at school.
71. I’ve always been a bit of a loner and an introvert.
72. I’ve always had a dirty mind.
73. I like sussing people out before I let them get to
know me.
74. People find me too intense and intimidating.
75. I hate small
talk..I’d rather just not speak.
76. I’m using this as a way of getting out of job
hunting.
77. My new favourite vegetable is artichoke
78. When I was about 5 I once covered myself in some bubble
bath that I was given by my mother because I saw an advert on TV by the same company
which advertised body lotion, and I mistook it for the same product.
79. I once tried to eat some soap because it was made to
look like a sweet (candy if you’re American)
80. I used to wet the bed a lot when I was a child.
81. I still secretly want to colour in pictures.
82. I drink a lot of water because I worry about the
damage I did to my liver when I was a teenager, and because it contains no
calories.
83. Artificial sweeteners give me migraines.
84. I get a lot of migraines/headaches.
85. I hate my periods, but the thought of not having them
scares me!
86. I will not take the pill or any other chemical
contraceptive because I am too concerned about the effect that they may have on
my health, but I took Prozac for 2 years and regularly take pain killers and tablets to help me sleep.
87. I get anxious if I am surrounded by lots of people.
It kinda overwhelms me.
88. I am terrified of spiders, and I seem to keep finding
them at the moment.
89. I am a very clingy woman.
90. I really like nature, and I’d really like to make
love in a candlelit yurt in the woods, in a big wooden bed, whilst being kept
warm by a fire, listening to the crackle of the fire and the sounds of the
wildlife outside, then I’d like to lie in his arms and just look up at the
stars.
91. I want to stay in a tree house like some lost tribe.
92. When I have my own home I will grow my own vegetables
and won’t let my kids watch TV! They can play outside like children are
supposed to.
93. I quite like art, and find aesthetics quite
important. If a house is not pleasant inside to look at, I feel uncomfortable.
I like to beautify things, but I do not conform to what others find beautiful.
94. I like being able to see the inner beauty of other
people.
95. When I was 15/16 I was obsessive about a woman 30
years older than me.
96. I always fancied a lot of my teachers…I think I
wanted them to do things to me after lessons in their empty classrooms, cupboards,
over their desks ;)
97. I’m a very sexual person, and I can’t turn it off.
98. I need to be handled firmly sometimes brutally, but
always with care.
99. I still can’t swim
100. I like spotting other kinksters/noticing other people’s
kinkiness in day to day life it makes me smile.
50 things about me
little
n says…
1. I
used to identify as lesbian but now I’m engaged to a man and do not attach any
labels to my sexuality.
2. I love
Morecambe and Wise.
3. I
just graduated with a 2:1 in Sociology.
4. Next
month I’m going to visit the Harry Potter studios in London.
5. I’m
a vegetarian and ‘part time’ vegan.
6. I
love animals and want a Dog, Rabbit, Degus, Pigs, chickens and Gerbils.
7. I
have shoulder length dark curly hair
8. I
need glasses-I’m short sighted.
9. I
was christened and spent most of my life agnostic, now I want to convert to Judaism.
10. I have
blue eyes.
11. I am
about 5’6” tall
12. My
breasts are small, but I like them.
13. I hate fake tan, and have yellow/olive light
brown skin but am classed as white!
14. I’m
English (which does not mean I live in London!), but my maternal Great Grandfather
was French.
15. I
have never been employed (I’m currently trying to get a job)
16. I
cannot drive, but would like to/feel like I have to learn soon.
17. I
hate pink!
18. My
parents divorced when I was 11.
19. I
love to cook.
20. I
used to play the trumpet when I was at school, but I can’t do it now.
21. I
have an A grade GCSE in metalwork
22. I
was the only girl in gymnastics that couldn’t do a cartwheel L
23. I
really enjoy travelling, and would like to get married abroad, maybe in the Caribbean.
24. My
political allegiance lies to the left (socialist) but I vote labour because
socialists would never get in under the current voting system.
25. I
hate sport, I’m more of a thinker-that does not mean I’m fat, I’m actually
quite slim.
26. I
spent my teenage years controlling my own eating habits, I was underweight and
I used it as a way of coping with my home life.
27. I
have had problems with depression and anxiety, but they do not currently affect
me anymore.
28. I
was reasonably good at German at school, and I would like to learn a bit of Hebrew
and I regret not learning much French but that wasn’t really my fault (school
changes).
29. If I
could, I would collect teddy bears.
30. I
had my first kiss at the age of about 7.
31. I
have lost too virginities! The first was with a girl when I was 17, the second
was with my current partner when I was 18.
32. I
hate my feet touched.
33. I
have a little sister and 2 stepbrothers.
34. I do
not get on with my father.
35. I
just ate way too much chocolate.
36. I
still have a lava lamp but it doesn’t work.
37. I do
not own an iphone, ipad, or anything else with an ‘i’ in front of its name.
38. I
love to read, and most of my fictional books contain sex and are either
classical, horror, historical or just plain rude/erotic.
39. I
spent 3 weeks coming of caffeine and was really ill during the process, now I try
to stick to decafe.
40. I
don’t drink much alcohol usually, but yesterday I had a hangover!
41. I
would like to make my own quilt, but I don’t have any sewing skills.
42. I am
really into eco products- because they are cheaper and I kinda do care, but am
not that convinced by global warming.
43. I’d
quite like to be a housewife with a few kids, which feminism doesn’t seem to
allow these days.
44. I
was really into radical feminism at college, but have since become a bit disenchanted
with it and prefer Jewish feminism- and no being submissive does not go against
my feminist sensibilities.
45. I am
a bit of a hygine freak, but I accumulate more clutter than my fiancé would
like.
46. I do
not watch much TV, but I really enjoyed game of thrones.
47. I
want to call my first born female child Lillian and my first born male child
Oliver, but my fiancé says it has to be Oscar instead because Oliver is overused
these days.
48. I
like men with ginger hair- my fiancé has ginger hair.
49. I
like to dress smartly rather than in jeans.
50. I
have a tattoo down my back of roses.
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